Well Eric and I did get back together for a short period of time. The happiest 4 months of my life. I don't know what happened but it just abruptly ended. I think it hurt worse this time than last. Maybe because I actually thought it was gonna work but I just set myself up for disappointment. I tried to talk to him but he just ignores me. Why would he just pick me up just to drop me. I was seriously happy he screwed me up again.
I can't say I am over it. I don't want to be over it. I want to hang on to him so bad and I don't know if it is because I am the one who doesn't want to be alone or if it is because I just loved him that much I can't imagine living life without him. I mean sure, since I am doing the LPN in August of next year it gives me time to frikin study and saves me money from going up there every other weekend but I would rather be broke and happy then be rich and miserable.
I miss his hands I use to make fun of, I miss the gaps between his teeth, I miss his obsessive rambling of smart nonsense that only made sense to him, and I miss laying next to him while he held me. I just hate knowing I am going to go without that for the rest of my life. And this time it really is over.
